The antidote to burnout: Unplugging

I gave a leadership presentation last month to a group of leaders and was approached at the end of the event by one of the participants. She posed a question that is often asked.

After some complimentary remarks about my message, she looked at me, took a deep breath, shrugged her shoulders and with a despondent look asked, “Were you ever tired…I mean really tired… when you were a boss?”

She told me she was a mother of four, had a demanding leadership job and was being pulled in a dizzying array of directions.  Despite tremendous support from her loving husband, she was exhausted.

Sound familiar?

Surveys report that more than half of employees check email while they’re on vacation. That’s a recipe for disaster.

With all the demands we face as leaders – endless meetings and conference calls, 24/7 technology-enabled connectivity, leading smaller teams with increased work, along with the demands of family – even the most resilient leader can get overwhelmed. In fact, a recent Deloitte survey of 2500 executives in 94 countries found that overwhelmed leaders and employees are a global concern with implications not only for those leaders but for their organizations as well.

How does one prevent burnout?

During the last 10 years of my Navy career I had some extremely demanding jobs. I was very fortunate to have had a very supportive wife – Kris is still super supportive! Nonetheless, it was exceedingly difficult to balance my role as a husband and father of three with work demands. What saved me from burning out? I unplugged.

Before I had the wisdom to unplug, I’d grow resentful when reading work email while on vacation. It’s tough to have a good attitude, regardless of the role you’re in, when harboring resentment. When I became more mindful of the critical link between work-life balance and my attitude/optimism (optimism being a vitally important leadership behavior – see my power of optimism post) here’s some wise counsel a good friend gave me:

  • Take vacation
  • Formally assigned someone to take your place during your absence
  • Have all business email sent to them in your absence
  • Inform them to act on the emails as they deem fit
  • Instruct them to call you if they have any questions
  • Don’t read your email – actually unplug!

This proved to be a game changer for me. In addition to letting me really enjoy my vacation, I didn’t have hundreds of emails to read when I returned. Equally important I empowered one of my staff members by showing that I trusted them. Truly turning over the reins…with availability by phone if needed…is the ultimate mentoring tool. It grooms new leaders. Finally, you’re setting a great example – you’re giving others permission to enjoy time with their loved ones without guilt.

Be a great leader and unplug while vacationing…you’re giving others permission to enjoy time with their loved ones without guilt.

I don’t know how many people today actually unplug at any time. Surveys report that more than half of employees check email while they’re on vacation. That’s a recipe for disaster. We’re not robots. We need time off to recharge and reconnect with love ones…and ourselves.

Be a great leader and unplug while vacationing. Empower others to step in…I mean really step it. You’ll find it much easier to be the contented boss, spouse, parent and friend that you…and everyone around you…wants you to be.

Is leadership about loving your people?

I recently gave a talk to a group of senior Naval Officers and was introduced by a good friend and colleague. In her remarks she stated that, prior to her assuming command, I gave her some simple advice.

“Mark told me that leadership is about loving your people.” Given that my talk was around Valentine’s Day, the reference to ‘love’ seemed timely.

Is leadership about loving your people?

The following was written by a person who, during a series of crucible experiences, learned much about leadership:

“…Loving – something I so desperately hoped that I did – meant much more than simply feeling that I cared.

It meant patience when explaining something for the fifth time to a nineteen-year-old who just didn’t get it.

It meant kindness when an honest mistake was made while trying their hardest; mercy when deciding the appropriate punishment.”

Patience, kindness, mercy, caring, and, yes, love, is referenced in this emotional passage. One would think it came from a religious leader, a teacher, or perhaps a parent. Who wrote this, and under what circumstances?

The writer of these words is a United States Marine Corps officer who served three combat deployments in Iraq, including an exceptionally arduous and grueling tour in Ramadi in 2004.

After graduating from Princeton in 2001, Donovan Campbell wanted to give back to his country, engage in the world, and learn to lead.  He joined the Marines and led a forty-man infantry platoon called Joker One. These words are from his book Joker One: A Marine Platoon’s Story of Courage, Leadership, and Brotherhood, a book he wrote after his service in the Marines. Donovan indeed gave back to his country…and he indeed learned to lead.

What did he learn? He learned that the secret to leadership is touching a heart before you ask for a hand. Leadership is about showing patience, kindness, mercy, caring, and, yes, love.  Leadership is about showing common courtesies, caring and encouraging the growth and development of those whom you lead.  Like the relationship between a parent and a child, leadership is about nurturing.

To care for someone is to show love. The more a leader cares, the more trust, the greater the effort.

My experiences and studies during my 30-year navy career led me to the same conclusion – the secret to effective leadership is trust, and the key to building trust is taking care of your people.  When led by a leader who cares, employees will trust them, work harder for them and find more joy and satisfaction from their work. Care, trust, and effort are inexorably interlocked, and proportional. The more caring, the more trust, the greater the effort.

While busy leaders may be cognizant of the vital importance of building trust through caring, the truth is that most are not making it a priority. My book, which will be published later this year, discusses the vital importance of caring and delineates specific behaviors that a leader can easily employ to show that they care.

Is leadership about loving your people? Yes. To care for someone is to show love. The more a leader cares, the more trust, the greater the effort.

Be a great leader. Show your people that you care. They’ll trust you, and work very hard for you.

How does a leader deal with a talented prima donna?

It’s a big challenge for leaders – you have an extremely talented member of your team…the best surgeon, best salesman, best IT technician. While they’re at the top of their technical game, being on your team comes with a cost. They’re also a prima donna. They have an inflated view of themselves. They’re demanding, temperamental, unpredictable, self-important.

Given that we’re closing in on another Super Bowl, let’s examine a classic case study of this conundrum with a National Football League (NFL) team. This year, on paper, the Pittsburgh Steelers were one of, if not the most talented teams in the NFL. Despite a vast array of talented players, oddly the Steelers did not make the playoffs. The question that’s been buzzing around the sports world is why.

Here’s a theory – bad team culture.

One of the many talented players on the Steelers is Antonio Brown, aka AB. He’s not only talented, he’s arguably the best player in the NFL at his position (wide receiver). AB has been a bit of a toxic personality throughout his 9-year tenure with the Steelers, but the stunt he pulled at the end of this season is inexplicable.

The distractions overwhelm the talent and the prima donna changes from an asset to a liability. The leader’s job is to recognize this distinction quickly…

The week before the Steelers last game of the regular season, a must win game for the Steelers and thus the most important game of the grueling 16 game season, AB mysteriously missed 3 days of practice. He wasn’t injured. There was no reason for him not to show up to practice – he simply chose to not show up. AB abandoned his team in their time of greatest need and did not suit up for the big game.

Antonio Brown is a talented prima donna.

Did Coach Tomlin (head coach of the Steelers) handle this situation well? The leader’s job is to leverage individual talents to maximize team performance. Team performance being every leader’s measure of success, the logical conclusion is that he did not. While we’ll never know the details of what Coach Tomlin did or didn’t do, let’s look at 3 ways a leader can deal with a talented prima donna.

  • Maximize their talent.

Give your prima donna the opportunity to use their unique strengths every day. However, there’s a delicate balancing act at play here. While you’re feeding their ravenous hunger for accomplishment and setting them up to flourish, you don’t want to negatively impact team culture. This requires constant monitoring of other team members. You need to spend lots of time with your team and your radar needs to always be on. In this case, did Coach Tomlin listen for whispers of discontentment and watch for signs of eroding morale in the locker room?

  • Hold them accountable.

While you’re feeding their enormous egos with opportunities to excel, it is equally imperative that you hold them accountable. If they don’t meet your established expectations, address it quickly. Ignoring it undermines your authority and lowers the bar for everyone else. By definition, you’re lowering expectations and team performance will suffer. Early on, did Coach Tomlin hold AB accountable when his antics were wearing thin on some of his teammates?

  • Let them go.

Sometimes the technical talent of the prima donna is overshadowed by the attendant drama of a demanding, temperamental, unpredictable, and self-important personality. The distractions overwhelm the talent and the prima donna changes from an asset to a liability. The leader’s job is to recognize this distinction quickly – preferably before it significantly impacts team culture and, more importantly, team performance – and let them go. This is a tough call, a gut call, and another reason why leadership’s an art. AB transitioned from an asset to a liability during the 2018 season. Did Coach Tomlin recognize this soon enough?

Be a great leader. If you have a talented prima donna on your team, remember to set them up to flourish, but always hold them accountable. Listen for whispers of discontentment and watch for signs of eroding morale. If the distractions overwhelm the talent, let them go.

Find reasons to recognize your employees.

During my command tour, I was most fortunate to have had a Command Master Chief  who had many talents, one of which was a keen appreciation for the power of an accolade.

On his first Monday morning on the job, he quietly slipped a piece of paper into my hand. It had the names of four sailors along with brief descriptions of volunteer events – Special Olympics and work at a local soup kitchen – these young men and women had unselfishly supported during the previous weekend. These sailors gave to their civilian community and gained pride in service – without expecting recognition. The Master Chief told me that he had heard that I enjoyed walking around the command and thought that it would be nice if I recognized these sailors during my walks. I thanked him profusely, immediately understanding the power of the message on that small piece of paper.

…these low keyed, informal, and quick interactions had a tremendous impact on command morale – an incredible return on an investment for a couple of minutes of time.

Throughout the ensuing week, during my walks around the command, I made it a point to visit the areas where these sailors worked.  I thanked them for their volunteer service, referencing the specific event they had supported.  It was pure joy to see the pride and delight in their faces – their eyes literally lit up as I thanked them for these acts of kindness. They were all surprised and elated for the recognition!  At some point they all asked the same question. “How the heck did you know about this, Sir?” I told them that the Master Chief was working his magic again. I bantered a little with them, but quickly moved on. Each interaction lasted a couple of minutes.

This was replicated each week. I’d get a new list from the Master Chief on Monday’s and I’d make my ‘random’ visits to thank each sailor throughout the week.

All interactions between the boss and employees are golden opportunities to build trust – getting a well-deserved accolade from the boss is one of them.

What was the impact of these extremely short interactions? To the sailor, a great deal of pride and satisfaction, as well as a much stronger and trusting relationship with both myself and the Master Chief. From the sailor’s perspective, the Master Chief took the initiative to ensure the Commanding Officer was aware of their volunteer work, and the Commanding Officer took the time to thank them.

Interestingly, the amount of staff volunteer hours throughout the command skyrocketed. No doubt others thought a bit more seriously about getting involved in volunteer work, and felt the inherent joy in serving one’s community.  All in all, these low keyed, informal, and quick interactions had a tremendous impact on command morale – an incredible return on an investment for a couple of minutes of time.

Find reasons to recognize your employees.

All interactions between the boss and employees are golden opportunities to build trust – getting a well-deserved accolade from the boss is one of them. I was fortunate to have a great leader, my Command Master Chief, who fully understood and embraced this maxim. He had the wisdom to create more such interactions!

Be a great leader. Be proactive. Find reasons to recognize your employees.

In Alex we Trust: A valuable 2018 World Series leadership lesson.

I don’t know who’s going to win the World Series between the Boston Red Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers. Believe me, I’ll be rooting for my beloved Red Sox with all the passion I can muster!

Before I continue…please allow me to quickly poke my New York Yankee fan friends…

What’s the difference between a Fenway frank and a Yankee hot dog?

They’ll be selling Fenway franks Tuesday and Wednesday night.

Sorry Yankee fans…I couldn’t help myself.

Ah but I digress…

Whether a diehard Dodger or Red Sox fan, quietly lurking behind the scenes of this fall classic is a fascinating leadership case study.

Alex Cora is in his first year as manager of the Boston Red Sox. In November, 2017, when Cora was introduced as the new Red Sox manager, he outlined some basic precepts of his managing philosophy. The first one he mentioned, and his most important, had nothing to do baseball. It had everything to do with leadership.

Cora does not think a manager can be too close to his players.

Alex Cora said that he was going to connect with the players.

Responding to a reporter’s inquiry warning Cora about the dangers of being too close to players, Cora responded, “Too close to players? That doesn’t exist”.

Cora, for one, does not think a manager can be too close to his players.

Cora continued, “The whole thing about drawing the line — the players understand that, but at the same time they’re human beings. You’ve got to talk to them, you’ve got to see how they feel.

“We’re going to connect with players, be genuine and be accessible. Having a good relationship with players is not bad. Doing that, you’re going to get the best out of them. People might think that crossing that line is not helpful, but I see it the other way around.”

The same words could have been uttered from the lips of a successful US Navy SEAL team leader, corporate executive, leader of a non-profit, or university president.

More importantly, these were not empty words. Cora did connect with his players.

Cora is quick to escape the confines of his office in favor of interacting with his players.

A few weeks after that press conference, Alex Cora flew from his Puerto Rico home to the Dominican Republic to visit with one of his young stars, 21-year-old Rafael Devers. That meeting took place on December 26.

Why did Cora fly to another country on the day after Christmas to spend a few hours with one of his players? He wanted to connect with him.

Midway through the season, a Red Sox player responded to a reporter’s inquiry about Cora’s style by saying, “He makes it a thing of his to come see how we’re doing every day, to come check in our families”.

Another reporter notes that Cora is quick to escape the confines of his office in favor of interacting with his players.

Has Cora’s philosophy of connecting with his players worked? The 42-year-old ex-player, with no prior experience as a big-league manager, has taken largely the same group of Red Sox players that flamed out in the first round of the postseason the prior two years. This year, Cora has guided the Red Sox to the winningest regular season in its 117-year franchise history. The Red Sox were dominant in the postseason series victories over the 100-win New York Yankees and the 103-win Houston Astros.

 

…the most important work for leaders is done off the field.

Decision making for baseball managers in 2018, like leaders in most organizations in 2018, has become a largely paint-by-numbers affair where advanced statistics and data are in ample supply. Today more than ever, the most important work for leaders is done off the field. Regardless of whether in the club house, boardroom, college campus or onboard a Navy warship, connecting with the people who work for you is essential to creating a culture of trust, a culture conducive to extracting the most from their talents.

The Red Sox player’s collectively have a new club house mantra. It’s “In Alex we trust”. It doesn’t get much better than that for a leader.

Alex Cora gets it. He proactively connects with his players. They trust him. More importantly, his players are delivering for him.

Be a great leader. Get to know your people. Spend time with them. Connect with them.

Oh yes…enjoy the World Series…and go Red Sox!

Avoiding the pitfall of arrogance: Just listen

Earlier this month, the Wall Street Journal published an article entitled “The Best Bosses are Humble Bosses”.  Referencing published studies, the article concluded that teams led by humble leaders performed better and did higher quality work than teams whose leaders exhibited arrogance. In other words, while the best bosses are humble bosses, the worst bosses are arrogant bosses.

The challenge that leaders face as they climb the corporate ladder is to avoid the slippery slope to arrogance.

While we want our bosses to be humble, we also want them confident and decisive. No one wants to be led by a boss who agonizes over every decision. A hand-wringing leader does not create high performing teams. The challenge that leaders face as they climb the corporate ladder is to remain confident, decisive and humble, but avoid the slippery slope to arrogance.

Before I took command of Naval Hospital Bremerton, I was warned by a good friend and mentor that being in command is an extremely unique experience. The commanding officer has ultimate authority and is given wide latitude to run the command as he or she sees fit, within the bounds of military law. In this respect, commanding officers have significant responsibilities…and power, especially in the disciplining and punishment of personnel.

If you find your mind wandering, notice it and course correct. Just listen.

My friend wisely told me that, if not checked, this power can insidiously transform a confident, decisive and humble leader into an arrogant leader. This is true for all leaders, especially those climbing to higher levels of responsibility.

What’s the key to avoiding this pitfall? It’s the ability to listen.

When others speak, focus on your active listening skills.  Listen with your heart. Listen to what is being said beneath the conversation. Put your cell phone away and move away from your computer. In fact, if the interaction takes place in your office, move away from your desk and remove any physical barriers.  Assume you have nothing else to do and there is no problem to solve. If you find your mind wandering, notice it and course correct. Just listen.

Great leaders know how to listen.

While I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Colin Powell, I’ve read from numerous sources that one of his many leadership gifts is his tremendous ability to listen. People who speak with him at social gatherings consistently mention how he makes you feel as if you were the only person in the room. That is exactly the type of listening that will prevent you from becoming arrogant.  Take a genuine interest in what you’re hearing. Great leaders know how to listen.

As you climb to higher levels of responsibility, continue to be decisive, confident…and remain humble. Don’t let your increasing power diminish your ability to listen.

Be a great leader and avoid the pitfall of arrogance by listening with your heart when your colleagues and subordinates speak.

The Gift of Wise Counsel

For my September blog please check out my Ted talk (recorded in May…went online this month). It’s an invaluable leadership lesson…with a twist. Teaser: getting help being a great leader is closer, easier and cheaper than you think!

Don’t be efficient with people

 

About midway through my Navy career I was put in charge of a large pharmacy operation that had far too many patient complaints. The top 2 complaints were long patient wait times (to get their prescriptions filled) and rude behavior from the pharmacy staff. Both were legitimate and I was told to fix ‘em.

I was super busy both at work and at home. My wife (Kris) and I had 3 young children and time management was a big challenge. To make it all work, I vowed to be more efficient with my time.

I was about to learn the hard way that you can’t be efficient with people.

The solution to the long waiting time was new equipment – namely robotic technology. I diligently scheduled 30-minute meetings with staff members to research, discuss and debate specifications and prices of different products. We eventually purchased equipment that worked well. After installation, patient complaints regarding long wait times quickly decreased.

People have needs and concerns. They harbor a range of emotions. Equipment – specifications, prices, etc. – don’t.

My solution to the rude behavior problem was to communicate my expectation that all patients are to be treated with respect, model that behavior, and hold staff accountable. Pretty standard stuff. Being rude to our patients had evolved into acceptable behavior among many staff members. It was the culture. To change it I started scheduling 30-minute one-on-one meetings with staff members who didn’t meet my expectations.

Was I flexible regarding the length of time of these one-on-one meetings? Absolutely not. These meetings were treated like any other meeting. Efficiency being my mantra, regardless of the tack these one-on-one meetings took, I never exceeded my 30 minutes time cap. I had a schedule to keep. I needed to be efficient.

While we eventually decreased the number of complaints regarding rudeness, the process was frustratingly slow. I’ve thought long and hard about that experience. What could I have done better? What did I learn? Don’t be efficient with people.

Not surprisingly, almost all of those one-on-one conversations were difficult. Many were emotional.

People have needs and concerns. They harbor a range of emotions – fear, anger, stress, hostility, sadness, guilt, among a host of others.

Equipment – specifications, prices, etc. – don’t.

No one can predict what emotion…or emotions…will be triggered during a difficult one-on-one meeting. Allow for that unpredictability. You may be near a breakthrough. Allow time to reach that breakthrough. Here’s a practical tip: Ensure your next scheduled meeting (the one immediately after the one-on-one meeting) can be delayed or canceled with little consequence. For example, the next meeting probably shouldn’t be a phone call with your boss.

…don’t sacrifice expediency for effectiveness. Don’t be efficient with people.

When I finally learned this lesson – don’t be efficient with people – many difficult conversations I had with staff members would continue past their scheduled time. I kept my schedule flexible for this eventuality. Often, they’d mention that we were beyond the scheduled time.  I’d respond by asking that if their schedule permitted (it almost always did), we could continue the conversation. I’d make sure to add that I considered this to be a very important conversation – because it was. Think of the strong message of respect that is conveyed – you’re willing to invest as much time as needed to resolve the issue. It shows that you care.

Be a great leader and don’t sacrifice expediency for effectiveness. Don’t be efficient with people.

An Independence Day leadership lesson for today’s leaders: How a personnel decision by General George Washington helped alter the course of world history.

General George Washington

“Good men are rarer than good days, and more valuable.”

–  George Washington on Leadership, Richard Brookhiser


What should a leader do when a trusted subordinate fails? Not just fail…but fail miserably…a major blunder. Many are justifiably looking for a scalp.  You have to make a decision on their fate.

The easy course, and often times the right course, is to quiet the masses, hold the offending person accountable and let them go. Is there any reason not to?

On the eve of our beloved Independence Day, I thought it fitting to look at what General George Washington did when one of his trusted generals suffered a devastating and humiliating defeat very early in the 8-year American Revolutionary War.

General Washington defied the critics and rendered a decision that, while unconventional, helped alter the course of world history.


The major blunder and the boss’s reaction…

Despite having been in only one battle in his life, General Nathanael Greene rose quickly up the ranks to become a trusted member of Washington’s leadership team. The qualities that Washington saw in Greene that led to this meteoric rise were optimism, decisiveness, hard work, and extraordinary organizational skills.

General Nathanael Greene

In 1776, General Greene was assigned the defense of New Jersey. Specifically, he was tasked to oversee two forts that faced each other across the lower Hudson River – Fort Lee on the New Jersey side and Fort Washington on the New York side (interestingly, the George Washington bridge connects these 2 points today). Greene’s strategy was to split his meager forces and continue to defend both forts.

…Washington saw the untapped brilliance in Greene.

Washington was away from the New Jersey area and wrote to Greene that he doubted the wisdom of occupying both forts. He wrote to Greene suggesting he withdraw the 2900 men at Fort Washington and move them to Fort Lee. Greene wrote back to Washington that he disagreed and requested permission to retain both forts. Washington acquiesced to Greene’s wishes.

It turns out that Washington was right. Shortly after this exchange of letters Fort Washington was surrounded by thousands of British troops and surrendered. All 2900 men, badly needed to sustain the fledging American army, were either killed or taken prisoner. It was the worst American defeat of the war up to that point.

What did Washington do after this devastating defeat?

Despite a loud and sustained outcry from both the public and congress Washington did not fire Greene. Instead he kept him close to his side over the ensuing months.

That turned out to be a very wise decision. Greene went on to win many crucial battles and emerged from the war with a reputation as Washington’s most gifted and dependable officer. Greene’s leadership after the Fort Washington debacle is viewed by historians to have been crucial to America’s victory in the war.  If Washington had not made this courageous decision, the 4th of July we celebrate today could have ended up as just another lazy summer day in this part of British North America.

Decide if, in the long run, their skills may be required to win the day.

Why did General Washington retain Greene?

While the definitive answer alludes historians, most agree that Washington saw the untapped brilliance in Greene. Washington ignored the public clamor and wisely looked over the horizon.  He correctly judged that, in the long run, Greene’s extraordinary leadership would be required to win the day.


What’s the lesson for today’s leader?

When (note when…not if) a subordinate commits a significant blunder and the sharks smell blood in the water, take a breath.

Decide if, in the long run, their skills may be required to win the day. If so, consider keeping them. If not, it may be time to cut your losses.

Be a great leader. Be discerning. Ignore the noise. Look over the horizon.  Carefully weigh the potential of the employee before taking action. While your ensuing decision probably won’t alter the course of world history, it may well significantly alter the course of your organization’s future.

 

A Father’s Day leadership lesson: Take the call.

One of most difficult challenges I wrestled with throughout my Navy career was balancing my time, energy and focus on being the best husband and father I could be with being the best Naval Officer I could be.

I don’t think anyone finds the perfect balance. I certainly did not.

However, along the way, I did learn a simple but powerful tip that helped me maintain a sense of balance. I learned of it 25 years ago and have tried to use it ever since. On this Father’s Day, I thought it appropriate to share it.

What is it?

If your spouse or child calls while you’re in a business meeting, unless the place is on fire, take the call.


I was nervous and intimidated as I fidgeted with my pencil and notebook. I scanned the room and realized that I was the most junior officer present. The others officers sitting around the large, imposing oak table were senior Naval Officers and members of the hospital’s Board of Directors. As the newest member of this august group, I was attending my very first C-Suite level meeting.

With all members of the Board of Directors sitting at their assigned seats, at exactly 8 o’clock that morning, the Commanding Officer (CO) entered the room. We instinctively jumped to attention as someone in the group loudly announced, “Attention on deck!”. While standard protocol of which I was very familiar, the episode caused more butterflies in my stomach.

The task of this group was to run the hospital as envisioned by the CO.  While I knew this was important work, how the CO and the team conducted business was a mystery to me.

While this took place 25 years ago, I still vividly remember something the CO did during that meeting that left a profound and lasting impact on me.

About 10 minutes into the 1 hour scheduled meeting, the CO’s secretary entered the room and informed him that his wife had just called. While it wasn’t urgent, the secretary wanted to let him know. (This was in the early 1990’s and cell phones were still generally considered as a concept of science fiction.)

The CO thanked her, excused himself, and headed for the door. As he left the room he told us to continue the conversation and that he was going to call his wife back.

If your spouse or child calls while you’re in a business meeting, unless the place is on fire, take the call.

That really surprised me. Perplexed, I wondered why he had abruptly left such an important meeting. Clearly the call from his wife wasn’t urgent. It certainly didn’t fit my preconceived notions of a CO’s behavior.

I looked around the table to get confirmation that others were similarly surprised by the CO’s sudden departure. They weren’t. The conversation continued without skipping a beat. This was clearly not the first time the CO left a meeting to return a routine call from his wife.

Over the ensuing year or so, I learned that this was indeed the case. In fact, the CO similarly left meetings to return calls from his children.

What was the impact of this unexpected behavior?

…his actions gave us permission to enjoy time with our families without guilt.

All members of the command loved him for it. Morale under his leadership was always high. We worked very hard for him and the command enjoyed enormous success.

Reflecting back, I understand that his actions gave us permission to enjoy time with our families without guilt. It was a powerful message.

More importantly, he appeared to have a loving wife and family.

What did I learn about leadership that morning and over the ensuing months from that CO?

If your spouse or child calls while you’re in a business meeting, unless the place is on fire, take the call. It’s a great behavior that helps maintain a healthy sense of work-life balance for you, your family, and your team.

Be a great leader. Take the call.